How much...

...is too much?

When someone consistently doesnt keep their word, does one then give up hope? Cos to me giving up hope is tantamount to losing faith. And I always place immense implicit faith in people I interact with regularly. Not making much sense, am I?

Well lets start at the beginning, always the best place to start. I have this tendency to take people for their word. For example, if someone tells me(and this is not some passerby on the road) they would be stopping by my place sometime in the afternoon, I expect that between the hours of noon and 5pm, they would be coming. A more specific time would be good, but I'll take this broad window, no biggie. So 6pm comes and goes, 7..8... no word. No word all night. Next day, out of frustration I call and ask whats the word. And I get " Oh! I got so busy with x and y and z, I couldnt make it!".

Example 2 : Someone tells me "I will try to swing by some time next week and drop it off". Again a very wide chasm of waiting time....but alright, lets just play along. Again, no show. "Oh, I couldnt find the time". And I am usually tempted to say "I nearly choked holding my breath for this long!".

Example 3 : "I will get it to you when I am there." You guessed it right. Again, no show. "Oh, I forgot to bring it along. Sorry!".

Most times I am not unreasonable. I do understand its not abnormal to forget, to misplace, to be rushed for time and hence unable to keep one's word. But doing it every time makes me want to conclude that one just should not be committing to anything. Like a quote I remember from a long time ago, its better to do and not promise than to promise and not do.

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results"

And of course, promise is too big a term to define these incidents. But still, keeping one's word however trivial, is a conscientious effort. Unless an earth shattering emergency has occurred, it is very rarely that I slip on my word. Or I just dont commit, unless I am quite sure I will deliver. And I hold others accountable to the same standards. Maybe that is just a flaw in me! Perhaps the other party feels good about themselves when making such promises, however big or small. Because you see, when proposes to do something, one sets up an expectation in the other. Now one can argue that its wrong to expect, its better to take it as it comes. Why commit then? Again it circles back to being true to your word(s).

Or perhaps such people expect that the promisee would appreciate the commitment and hence give their word. No biggie if they couldnt or didnt keep the word. If for that instant the promisee felt good, maybe the lip service was worth it.

I dont know, I dont know which of it is the absolute truth.

“When a man repeats a promise again and again, he means to fail you” - Proverb

Either way, it bothers me. Like I said, giving up on these individuals means losing faith. And that is a HUGE deal for me.

“Promises may fit the friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies.” -Benjamin Franklin