Its different

This winter I find myself with a plentiful stock of patience. To go through these winter days and months, taking each day at a time. Usually, in all these years that I have been in the North-East coast of the US, it has been an impatient, cranky stretch of 90 or so days. Then it was all about complaining at having to wear layers, the time taken to don the scarves and gloves and boots and coats and jackets...never-ending..even if it was for a simple chore such as pick up mail from the mailbox.

This year, I prefer taking it a day at a time. Sometimes the temperatures are higher than usual, sometimes dipping low, sometimes there's snow, sometimes icy rain. And what I do and how I deal with these little changes differs from day to day, week to week. If the temperatures are dipping to the chilly lows, I cut down on the errands to run, make myself some warm soup, light up the fire and nothing could be better than curling up on the couch with a good book, a funny movie or TV re-runs.

On snow days, as the snowflakes drop from the skies above, as I sit in my cube at work, overlooking a wide window, the scene is breathtaking. I know in a few hours, with the pile up, we will get an email asking us to wind up early and leave cos driving can get treacherous. One of the many little surprises that the season delivers, a short day at work. Though it takes thrice as much as the usual commute time, one gets home. Just the warmth that emanates from the fire combined with the warmth of a plan to make some c-o-b soup(cream of broccoli) is enough to make one bring the comforter from upstairs and tuck in.

And then there are the warmer days, warmer just in comparison. When the sun shines brightly, the tempertatures are still low, but feels like a sunny outdoorsy day. One opens the french windows or the front door and gingerly pops half a toe out, to feel the air. Yes, definitely still cold. But the cheery sun tells a white lie. Thats when one brings out the red coat, a cheery matching knit set of scarves and gloves and cap to do some chores, run errands, shop and dine out with girl friends. Its also the best time to buy furniture for the deck and swimwear! So I have discovered. The stores seem to stock up with the latest fashions for spring and summer in the peak of winter!

Which brings me to my closet! I find myself fingering the sleeveless blouses and skirts and dresses in eager anticipation of warm days and open-toed sandals. For now its boots and clogs, shoes and socks. I am willing to wait...for those sunny days...to try out the new clothes I purchased from my India trip...sleeveless, half-sleeved...they all await for warm summer days. I am perfectly at peace wearing full sleeves, flannels, woollens and corduroys. There's definitely something different this winter. Maybe I am a better adjusted person.

How is it today, you ask? Well, I can hear the windchime in the deck from my bedroom upstairs. Its been chiming all night warning me in its dulcet notes that its going to be a windy day. The wind tunnel that passes behind the house has been howling, the bells that chime in my neighbor's have been talkative. Its cold and windy. Time to bundle up and stay indoors as much as possible. And them wind tunnels...it is best to avoid them or keep interactions with them at minimal. There's one at work, leading from the parking lot to the office building. Thats going to be making some noises as well!

Oh, and one more thing, last spring I'd read about planting daffodil and tulip bulbs, my favorite spring flowers. So I had them bookmarked and ready to bed some in good time, apparently early fall is a very good time to do so. Gives the tubers plenty of time to hibernate and stock up on food till spring. I diligently planted some 50 odd bulbs of both varieties. Then I almost forgot about it. Cos you know, when fall brings unexpectedly warm days coupled with an India trip can do wonders to your memory about cold winter days that you wish to avoid. Now with snow and rain and these chilly, windy days....in the midst of brown shrubs and leafless trees, I see some fresh green shoots. I cant tell if its the daffodils or the tulips but the locations all indicates its one of the two. I am in doubt. Last time I heard, these werent supposed to spring till spring! So what gives? Many a morning, I want to tuck them in, pat their young heads and tell them to go back to sleep. Its not time to wake up, yet! One part of me though, is thrilled beyond bits. I mean, for the black thumb that I have been known to have, this is nothing short of a miracle.
Yes, Amma, Miracle-gro works. Aapki daya se :D.

- A bundled up, winter-fresh mint!

Trail Mix 2

Tracing your roots
Some months ago, I read this amazing article in RD about a girl that was able to trace back her roots to royalty. More here : http://www.rd.com/stories/heartwarming/adopted-woman-discovers-her-amazing-heritage/article.html.

Interesting stuff, eh? Now for some currents(nope not currants, or the electric kind)

* Current wordfly : smithereens(ya! weird)

* Current binge : Mango pie

* Current read : Blandings Castle(make that a millionth re-re-re-re-read).

* Current watch : The Longest Yard(Adam Sandler, Chris Rock)

This weekend's theme : Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

So, I was checking out something interesting :

The Man in the Elevator - A man lives on the tenth floor of a building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator - or if it was raining that day - he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to his apartment. Can you explain why?
[Oh puhlease! If you want to google this up and tell me the solution, spare me. Cos I didnt solve it myself, had to engage the spoiler. But the solution had me chuckling. If YOU are really curious, sure leave a note and I will post the answer which is touted to be a classic amongst lateral thinking puzzles.]

Touch and go

"The soul of music lumbers in the shell,
Till wak'd and kindled by the master's spell,
And feeling hearts-- touch them but lightly--pour
A thousand melodies unheard before."
ROGERS, SAMUEL, 1763-1855: Human Life

Ever experienced this before? A teenie weenie act by someone, something like twanging a string instrument but sets off a thunderous chest-pounding rock song in your heart?

I have a few such "touched" gifts and acts. Of course, I store plenty of gifts a lot of my good friends have given me, I love and cherish each one of them. But there are a handful of them that, even though they are small, mean a lot and will always touch that chord that I spoke about earlier.

In my first ever job, rather when I put in my papers to resign, there used to be a girl, lets call her V, who was from a different company. But she was onsite in mine, rather like an assigned support person. I used to work with her a lot, learnt a lot from her too. And when I resigned, of course, my team mates and other coworkers gave me a decent send off. I was elated, I mean after all, it was my first send off party. But this girl V took the trouble to get me a pen stand with the laughing Buddha in it. A papier meche one which probably was the hit at that time, when Archies was a popular gift store. This was about 10 yrs ago. I still have it in my desk at home. That tells you how much I was touched by that simple gift of hers. The point is, she didnt have to...but she did. And that meant a lot to me! I have since lost touch with V, but everytime I look at the pen stand, all I have are fond memories of the good times with her.

I made an online friend, some years ago. You know at the time when bulletin boards and chat rooms were the in thing, the internet savvy thing to do. I have had my fair share of failures in this regard. Nothing much has come from it. But I have made a handful of great friends, that have surpassed the virtual world and established themselves in the real world we all live in. Now S is a very craftsy person. As in she made bead jewelry, painted, made greeting cards and so on and so forth. I loved the jewelry she made and used to sweep a lot of it whenever I visited her. She usually gave me a good deal on the price and I can proudly claim that I had my own personal custom costume jewelry maker. But what I treasure most is a small greeting card she made for me for my birthday, something special. She didnt have to. But she did. And again thats the one thing I will treasure the most. I still use the lovely jewelry she made for me, she no longer makes them now. She has moved on to other, greater things. I wish her all the luck and good wishes. S, you rock!

One girl A who I grew up with, her family and mine have lived next door for many years now. She is a few years older to me and put in some real effort to become a doctor. She and I have burnt the midnight oil, so to speak, on many nights. In windows across from each others' houses. When I visited her one Christmas, some years ago, I got a chance to play with her daughter, who was 4 then. And when I left, N, the daughter, gave me a handwritten card. It was the cutest thing I had seen. Personalised with my name, spelt right, neatly. I was touched...touched beyond words. I will always have the goodbye/thank you note that N wrote for me.

And now, when I joined this place I am at now. I met a lady who I worked with on my first project. Wonderful lady, of Japanese origin. We spent many hours bringing the project to fruition. Towards the end of last year, she went on maternity leave and in the latest round of layoffs I heard she had been let go. Very unfair, but such is life. I hear from her husband, who still works here, about her off and on. I heard she had gone to Japan for a long holiday. Just last week, her husband stopped by to tell me that A had asked him to give me this............a small souvenir from her trip. Its a trinket...one of those pretty, dainty things with a little bell inside. And I know where that came from. She used to have the same thing on her cell phone and I'd admire it a lot. To think she remembered it and got one for me! I repeat...she just DIDNT have to, but she did. How very very thoughtful.

And so I am touched. Touched, beyond words.

White and pearly

White and pearly
Dense and piled up
Comfort food, rice it is.

White and pearly
Soft and wet
Snow, cascading down the skies.

Two movies and a book

What do I have to show for a week. Exactly that- two movies and one book(incomplete)

• On a slow Monday evening, after a late day at work, I decided to check out Kite Runner, the movie(limited release that it was, what could be better than having it at a theater en route between office and home, a few yards away from home sweet home?). Its been a couple of years since I read the book. Thankfully. Since the details were hazy enough for me to not obsess over minor omissions or nitpicky comparisons, I went and watched with a nearly clear mind. And felt good. While the book delved into a lot of minute details about life in Afghanistan and the social structure, I'm sure a lot of it was infeasible to capture in a movie...or it would have to be turned into a 4 hour one. The book itself was enjoyable because the writing was fluid, gave a lot of room for using one's imagination to understand the background and situation. In a movie, unfortunately all that is visual. Takes away a good part of pages from the book. A phrase I felt for the movie was "less is more". A lot of restrained acting, subtle picturisation and minimalistic. So, if you are expecting a popcorn popping, thrill ride, this isnt the one for you.

• Evano Oruvan : Maddy's movie based on the Marathi original, Dombivli Fast. A very realistic movie on the life of any middle class family in India. One feels instantly bonding with the characters and their situations. With a middle class upbringing and the values that get imbibed, its a tough struggle to balance one's ethics and yet survive in the system. Quoting a line from the movie "Page 3", one needs to be in the system to change it. Again, not your everyday fantastic movie, no star studded stunts, no dreamy locales and finally none of the fancy star cast. I, however, did not relate to the ending. For the wonderful build up, this was not a matching end. But then, realistically speaking...perhaps, there is no other way out!

• Upon SK's suggestion, I got "Shantaram" by Gregory David Roberts. I believe its about 1000 pages long, so its going to be a while before I am done with it. But I definitely have enjoyed it thus far, which is about a couple of chapters. Thanks SK, for the reco.

And thus ends yet another weekend in 2008.

How much...

...is too much?

When someone consistently doesnt keep their word, does one then give up hope? Cos to me giving up hope is tantamount to losing faith. And I always place immense implicit faith in people I interact with regularly. Not making much sense, am I?

Well lets start at the beginning, always the best place to start. I have this tendency to take people for their word. For example, if someone tells me(and this is not some passerby on the road) they would be stopping by my place sometime in the afternoon, I expect that between the hours of noon and 5pm, they would be coming. A more specific time would be good, but I'll take this broad window, no biggie. So 6pm comes and goes, 7..8... no word. No word all night. Next day, out of frustration I call and ask whats the word. And I get " Oh! I got so busy with x and y and z, I couldnt make it!".

Example 2 : Someone tells me "I will try to swing by some time next week and drop it off". Again a very wide chasm of waiting time....but alright, lets just play along. Again, no show. "Oh, I couldnt find the time". And I am usually tempted to say "I nearly choked holding my breath for this long!".

Example 3 : "I will get it to you when I am there." You guessed it right. Again, no show. "Oh, I forgot to bring it along. Sorry!".

Most times I am not unreasonable. I do understand its not abnormal to forget, to misplace, to be rushed for time and hence unable to keep one's word. But doing it every time makes me want to conclude that one just should not be committing to anything. Like a quote I remember from a long time ago, its better to do and not promise than to promise and not do.

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results"

And of course, promise is too big a term to define these incidents. But still, keeping one's word however trivial, is a conscientious effort. Unless an earth shattering emergency has occurred, it is very rarely that I slip on my word. Or I just dont commit, unless I am quite sure I will deliver. And I hold others accountable to the same standards. Maybe that is just a flaw in me! Perhaps the other party feels good about themselves when making such promises, however big or small. Because you see, when proposes to do something, one sets up an expectation in the other. Now one can argue that its wrong to expect, its better to take it as it comes. Why commit then? Again it circles back to being true to your word(s).

Or perhaps such people expect that the promisee would appreciate the commitment and hence give their word. No biggie if they couldnt or didnt keep the word. If for that instant the promisee felt good, maybe the lip service was worth it.

I dont know, I dont know which of it is the absolute truth.

“When a man repeats a promise again and again, he means to fail you” - Proverb

Either way, it bothers me. Like I said, giving up on these individuals means losing faith. And that is a HUGE deal for me.

“Promises may fit the friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies.” -Benjamin Franklin

Call me Umori Noos...

Because...

If You Were Born in 2893...

Your Name Would Be: Umori Noos And You Would Be: A Space Pirate

If You Were Born in 2893

And if I were to be put under a microscope, here's what would be revealed!

You Are Eggs

Traditional and totally grown up, you truly believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You don't skimp on nutrition or quality. You're likely to take the time to make yourself a decent meal each morning. You're a great cook, even if you aren't a showy one. You can make a feast out of simple ingredients. The food you eat may be basic, but you prefer to think of it as classic.

What Kind of Breakfast Are You?

Your True Sign Is Pisces

Kind Dreamy Gentle Psychic Idealist Vulnerable Empathetic Introverted

What Sign Woman Are You, Really?

You Are 64% Tortured Genius

You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse. Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Post-it notes along the memory lane

Usha recently talked about "Childhood Amnesia" and asked the readers to jog their rusty memories and bring out gems from the nostalgia closet to share. It was an interesting ride, down the memory lane, going back to some very early years. Almost seems like a different world altogether, from the one we all now exist in. Like Billy Joel's its probably that "The good ole days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems". But nostalgia is that way, you know. Romantic, dreamy...a bit like paradise...of which we dream of for our future. So if our past was perfect, the future should be utopia shouldnt it? Hm, maybe not!

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect! ~Owens Lee Pomeroy

Perfect, what say?

Ok, so these are some of the gems I collected whilst on my nostalgia ride. Let me clarify the characters that feature in the trip
- A great grand mom, paternal(ggmom, for short)
- Grandparents(maternal and paternal)
- A multitude of grand uncles and aunts- mostly siblings of ggmom and their spouses.
- Uncles and aunts- siblings of parents

Note 1 :
Very early on, life consisted of being spoilt by ggmom, grandparents, ggmom's siblings and their spouses. A palatial ancestral home. Servants. Half-day school. Force-fed lunches. Small game with ggmom. Afternoon nap, sharing her bed. Milk and then playtime! And how.

Playtime consisted of inviting neighbourhood kids(upon pre-approval by ggmom. Yes, she would scan them, find out their ancestry, their habits- in short- their case history...and then deem them fit to play with the "brat"). So they would come. Games also would need prior approval from ggmom. And she had a walking stick. If it appeared to her that her "brat" was losing, she would poke one or all the kids with the stick and tell them to be fair and "let the brat win!". If any child persisted in winning and disobeying her orders, the next day the said child would be banished from the play group.

Note 2 :
There would be new clothes for every festival for the "brat". You know how in India, you dont need a reason for a festival. Well my grandmother found festivals where there werent any, just so she could indulge the brat with the latest fashions.

I have talked earlier about the torture I went through in the name of music lessons. Enough said, we will not dwell on those painful memories.

My Scrabble skills are all thanks to my grandmother. She was more keen on learning to play the new game than I was. And I was challenged to do better, just so I could beat Paati. And in a few years, we got so good at it, our scores would soar and we'd make our own rules, making it harder and harder that no one else would kindly oblige to play against us, cos they'd shudder at the iron rules we had made up!

Note 3 :
Every couple of days, ggmom's brother would visit his older sister. Without fail. He would be driven and he would get an "Illustrated Weekly" to read for the road. He didnt live too far away, mind you. Matter of minutes. Then as soon as he'd enter the house, he'd hand the magazine to me. And thus I was introduced to reading comic strips..like Dennis the Menace.

Note 4 :
Thatha(paternal) was a bathroom singer. He'd love to hum. And he always had a song to sing to me, whenever he set his eyes on me.

Note 5 :
We'd visit ggmom's sister, who also lived in the same city. Her husband was great at sketching. And thus I was introduced to drawing and painting. Very early on, he used to keep a notebook where I'd learn to draw basic figures and hone my skills.

Note 6 :
Summer vacation was always about going to Hyderabad to spend with the other set of grandparents. Early lunches coupled with a second round of lunch consisting of curd rice, ending with juicy mangoes. Hot summer afternoons spent reading Enid Blytons to the creaking noise of the rickety ceiling fan.

Thatha(maternal) was big on devotion and elaborate morning pujas.

Right in those days, he had a home office. A very posh place , with a high drawing desk to painstakingly draft electrical layouts- an eternal place of intrigue and interest to all of us. We were always curious what goes on in offices and for many years later I used to believe all offices would have draftsmen, a stenographer taking notes in shorthand, the relentless tick-ticking of the typewriter.....
"Thatha, your drawer is here" I'd announce, emerging from his office, where I'd love to hang out all day. And oh yes, I meant to say draftsman :). Everyone, needless to say, had a good laugh at my expense!

Note 7 :
Trips to British Council and IIWC with Amma. Wonderful times feeling the gilt edged treasures, the crisp pages of new Enid Blytons, Richmal Crompton, comic books...the pleasure of getting lost in the world of fantasy and launch into eternal word space.

Note 8 :
Endless bars of Double Decker and Five Star chocolate, thanks to two doting chitappas(chikappa). Unlimited motorcycle thrill rides on Rajdoot and Yezdi- the pride of the youth at that time. Its strange, that now I really detest chocolate. Having been spoilt at such an early age, I should have turned out to be chocolate's biggest fan. Real irony, that!

Note 9 :
And to this day, I dont remember why. I am sure the victim definitely remembers, after all these years ;). I recall getting angry over a classmate(this must've been kindergarten, mind you!!) and biting her :O. I know, I know, terrible thing- I say. And then she howled her way home and complained to her mom. Of course, I had to go to her house and apologize, Amma made me !

Note 10 :
Again, for some inexplicable reason, I loved to play house inside an umbrella. Like remember that huge monstrosity of a black umbrella one used to get in those days? Yes, my favorite spot to play house was to open one up, prop it on the floor and crawl into it.

10 gems! Pretty good stuff, huh?

So thanks Usha for sending me on this little trip. Alright, I got to unpack and get ready for a busy week ahead.

Enjoy y'all!

Couch bound

Phew!

This holiday season has been filled with watching Hindi movies. In the past 45 days the roll-call goes thus :

Jab we met :
After a very long time, a delightfully cute film has kept me engrossed. Pure, simple entertainment- these are the only words I can find to describe this movie. If one could rehash a love story, this has to get an Oscar for doing it in such a way to not come across as cliched, boring or repetitive. Shahid and Kareena just had to have been the pair for this.

Manorama 6 feet under:
Despite critics claiming it to be a rehash of Jack Nicholson's Chinatown, this movie definitely is a decent watch. If one has not watched Chinatown, then watch and just follow the suspense...like sitting through an Agatha Christie novel. The movie definitely delivers what it set out to do...entertain...with a murder mystery. Abhay Deol is an actor, sans the star hangups. Gul Panag, what can you say. She's an actress who also happens to be Miss India. With Saarika in her comeback role, the movie definitely had to be noteworthy.

Jhankaar Beats :
Stupid me! How could I have not watched this movie till now? Rahul Bose, Sanjay Suri, Juhi Chawla....again pure and simple masti. With a little bit of optimism thrown in. I mean, who doesnt like a happy ending? Enjoyable is the right word.

Pyaar ke side effects :
When I realised I had two vcd's of this movie...one that someone brought from their desh trip, another that I brought, cos I didnt realise the former existed...well of course, I had to watch the movie. Decent fare...Mallika Sherawat and Rahul Bose...not a spectacular movie. Passable, watchable...hey you have a couple of hours to spare, sure why not!

Taare Zameen Par :
What can a commoner like me say that can match all the good things thats already been said about this movie? Nothing much. Except chant...definitely watch. The casting, cinematography, dialogues, songs...every aspect...in this package..make it an award winning offering. For such an unusual topic as dyslexia for Hindi movies, coupled with such an unusual setting for a children's movie..its moving, its touching, its emotional...yet powerful. Aamir Khan is amazing as always...consistent and superb. Darsheel Safary is outstanding. None of the chocolate faced kid action that we are so used to from Bollywood movies. And my favorite song? In keeping with my trend, I gravitate towards soulful songs...this one moved me to tears. Shankar Mahadevan has outdone himself, yet again, in this song...with a bare minimum instruments, his voice shines through..bright and clear.
Excerpt from the song...
Meri Maa

Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe
Jo Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain Maa
Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi Maa

Johnny Gaddaar :
There are some so called "suspense thrillers" where you know exactly what is going to happen next...how it happens is why you stay glued to the seat and watch. When I watched "Ek Haseena Thi" I could never predict where the movie was headed at any stage. Such is the case with Johnny Gaddaar as well. Not surprising...cos both movies have been made by the same man..Sriram Raghavan. I will surely be watching out for more of his movies. Cos he sure knows how to weave a tale. Again, critics might cry aloud...about references to Johnny Mera Naam(the Dev Anand starrer, which I havent watched, so no comments) and many other Bollywood movies. Take it for what it is, and you find yourself with a decent thriller. Certainly kept me hooked to the screen...which is saying a lot, considering how distracted I can get. And Neil Nitin Mukesh? What can I say? Just a very promising young lad, with plenty to show in the looks department.

The End

Footnote :
Did someone say what about books? ONE, just ONE! To account for these past few weeks. And that was "Q&A" by Vikas Swarup. Tale of a waiter boy in Mumbai who lands in a KBC type of show and goes on to win the grand prize. A very good read, with interesting experiences in the life of an orphan who is tossed around between Mumbai and Delhi, with a brief stint in Agra. The people he meets, the folks he has worked for, his friends, some acquaintances...a circle of social interactions. And a grand prize.

Dismal as it sounds, yes just one book made it all they way to the end. The rest were disappointing. Within a few lines, pages, I'd stop and before long I had a pile of returns. The clerk at the book store definitely didnt approve. But what to do, it appears I have turned into a very picky reader. I refuse to read, for the sake of reading. Its got to grab my attention and keep me chained, else it just aint worth it!

Goal!

”This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

~Shakespeare; Hamlet

So says an innocent looking magnet on my fridge...a small purchase as souvenir from the Bard's hometown.

I didnt think about it much then. But during this small self-imposed exile these words have been reverberating incessantly...almost like a chant. And hence this will be recorded officially...that I remind myself everyday for this year. To be true to myself. To positively build the self, to constantly grow the spirit...cos one can only change one-self.

And here we are at the beginning of a brand new year, a new set of 365 days that have been granted to us. To do as we wish. The power to use it for our betterment or forever be lost in time.

"Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure?"--Anonymous

An eternal truth, these words above.

So as we begin day one of this gift, all it takes is a little effort to make conscious change in moving towards our self-set goals, be it small or big...be it going to the moon, or just wanting to snatch 10 mins of a day in meditation...a small conscious change in our thoughts and attitude...for the better...for the betterment of oneself.

Like the pieces of a puzzle that finally add up for a clear picture. Goal!