Shoe sharanam

So, coming back to this very controversial topic, I am invariably either trying to find more people with similar interests(ahem, THIS is NOT an obsession, puhlease!) or I am handed wall hangings, desktop accessories, figurines, magnets, EVEN address labels that read "One can never have too many friends, or shoes!" or "She who dies with the most shoes, wins!". Alright people, I get the message.

The horror stricken look on one of my friend's face when she eyed a large sized box labelled "SHOES" during my recent move, was worth capturing. She had one question to ask, "Altoid, please tell me that large box is NOT really full of shoes??????". A very calm "Yes" in response was enough to silence her for the next few hours as she tried very hard to digest and swallow the fact. I could almost hear her stomach working overtime. Another one landed a few hours before the movers arrived to take pictures of the said box as proof(I dont know for what!, I can certainly vouch for the fact that she neither works for the IRS nor the Government).
Thank you Lord, for such wonderful friends!

So here's a recent piece on the Washington Post where I feel a kind of sisterhood with Tina Alster when she says "It's frivolous, I know, but I love my wall of shoes. The individual cubbies are like a Bauhaus still life -- filled with special treasures". Way to go! YES! NOW I have something to work upon....a WALL of shoes.

Right now its a door of shoes- an over-the-door shoe organizer(ahem WE shall not mention the number of pairs this said shoe organizer can/will/does hold, we dont believe in being ostentatious!). My mother found it amusing and horrified in equal parts at the crude display of material indulgence from her progeny. At some level I guess she was trying to figure out the zen behind how she managed to produce such a strain of weirdness in her offspring.

Ah well, she'll survive, and as for me, all I want to say is "May the tribe increase!"

Footwear fetish

Ok, I am no Imelda Marcos and no, I cant afford a Manolo, Prada, Gucci OR Jimmy Choos yet. But yes, I do collect footwear.

This is a recent thing. Well by recent I mean for the past 5-10 years or so. Its a time-consuming process. And dont believe it when someone tells you they acquired a collection overnight!. Its just not possible.

Let me tell you how you go about building a collection. Obviously, you go one pair after another. You walk in to a store, more specifically, the shoe section and casually glance at the variety. If the store were to possess THE pair of shoes, then all your senses, nerve-endings, veins, arteries....you get it....every body part would tingle when you set sight at the pair of shoes you absolutely have to have in your collection. Thats whats called shoe-sight! Yessiree.

Its love at first sight. Of course, after that comes the trying-on part, provided the store were to carry your size as well. You wear BOTH shoes and walk and prance around the aisle(preferably splashed with mirrors, conveniently posted for you to admire your feet AND the shoes!). You do a couple of rounds of this, just in case. All's fair in love and war, right? Next you take the shoes off and examine at close quarters. You need to feel the texture and the shape. Once you have been gratified with the results, then you turn the shoes over to check the price. Well by now, price shouldnt really matter, because by now you are in love (remember?...helloooooo;).

Now the price could be one of the following :

First would be jump-with-joy-its-so-low-I-could-buy-10-of-these kind. These are the best ones. I mean here you have a pair of shoes that you not only fell in love with but the price is so low you could afford to buy the entire store. This is a cakewalk(shoewalk, maybe).

The second case would be the price-is-right variety. For the quality and brand(errrr!!) the shoes should and does cost as much. Alright, this situation isnt half as bad. I mean come on, you like a piece, you got to pay its price.

The third case would be the good-lord-this-is-way-too-much. This is a tricky situation. I say that because then you have to enter into major reasoning mode. Do I NEED this? Do I WANT this? Is it worth the money? Should I be spending this much on a pair of shoes? Isnt my shoe closet overflowing and the apartment shrinking with the space occupied by footwear that which was meant to be for human occupation? You see what I mean? By the time you are done answering this questionnaire, either you are exhausted and dont want to buy the shoes anymore or you give up on the line of reasoning and pay up anyway. See! This case has extreme results. One can never be sure.

So thus you go about acquiring a footwear fetish. Before long, you will come up with bizarre reasons to buy a pair that you just cant let go. Thats when you realise you're a pro(errrrr! maybe the right term would be addict? shoe freak? shoe collector? footwear aficionado?). Whatever!

No kidding, I once bought clothing to match a pair of shoes!!! Such is my fixation with collecting footwear!

"Foot" note :
A shoe that is too large is apt to trip one, and when too small, to pinch the feet. So it is with those whose fortune does not suit them.
- Horace